Alternatives to Blaming

This is an answer post to my previous piece on how someone's undesirable behavior could've been seen as a symptom of a larger-scale problem but it was dismissed as only that person's problem. I see this as an opportunity cost for the organization. The organization could have:

1. become self-aware that it has a systemic problem,
2. learned about how it was affecting individuals,
3. thought about how to mitigate symptoms, or even better -
4. thought of how to stop it from the root.

​To properly address the cause of undesirable behavior in individuals and to get honest feedback about the organization, it is of utmost importance to make the person feel safe and relaxed (the person is probably on the verge of crumbling with anxiety). In doing so, there are a few things to take into consideration when soliciting authentic feedback:

1. To not make it (even remotely sound like) a punishment. The point is to get valuable information out of the person. It doesn’t make any sense to make them think that it’s not worth opening up and sharing their thoughts with you (because you look like a threat).
2. To listen, with patience. This sounds obvious, but it’s easy for managers to do one-way reprimands (not to mention unsolicited advice that doesn't even make sense) without realizing that the other person has something to say (but is too fearful or beaten up). And it can take a lot of time — and courage — for a person to open up. You never know what they’re carrying.
3. To re-frame the context as “a check-in” rather than a “meeting.” You wouldn’t want to rub work into their faces when they might be feeling constantly guilty and ashamed about not getting things done as early as they should be. Changing the environment: the location, time, and even the person soliciting the feedback may help make it less threatening (although it is better to have an authentic conversation).​

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​I'm sure I'm coming back to the "what do you do instead of blaming someone?" theme over and over again in future posts because blaming in the workplace happens way too often and to me, it ends up harming the organization as a whole as opposed to protecting it.